Life Lessons

I have heard several discussions lately revolving around Lessons of Life. These are hints, tips and tricks that we plan on passing onto our children and, basically, any other sucker out there who will listen (or at least is forced to listen). I thought I would start to compile this list so we all can reference it in the future.

1. If your nose is stuffed up and you can't smell anything, don't clean it out while you are taking a dump.
2. It is really difficult to walk and pee at the same time
3. You can't put too much water into a nuclear reactor
4. Don't touch anything sensitive after you eat spicy food (eyes, twig and berries, inside of your nose ...)
5. When you get into a skid .....
6. Don't mix the wine and beer, ever
7. Oh yeah, don't drive on the railroad tracks

That's a good start. Feel free to add your own in comments.


Worthless

Pangs in the Haze

Last night, through some strange, unexpected burst of will-power, I dragged myself from a deep, dream laden slumber. I wasn't checking the time to ensure that I hadn't overslept. That is usually the case. No, today, I fought through an extremely vivid dream and through that groggy, early morning haze in order to escape an almost unbearable weight of sorrow. In that dream, I was passing through my apartment. In the corner of my mind's eye, I glimpsed the silhouette of the woman I had loved deeply and completely. Her absence was like a black hole in my spirit attracting everything within its reach. The air was so oppressive that I couldn't breathe. My body crumpled under the overload of emotion. The screams of my soul became a corporal reality. I had to escape this agony.

This is where my story started.

I was afraid to go back to sleep. I didn't want to slip back into that reality of utter misery. The residue of those emotions still linger as I write this later in the day. I have had dreams like this before. They make me afraid of allowing myself to love someone that deeply.

Are these dreams portents of my future? Am I destined to bring that dream to reality? Do I roll the dice, bind my soul with that of another and trust that I can survive the ordeal at the end? Or do I let my fear prevent me from that complete fulfillment? In this case, I think the means justify the end.

I know that in a couple of days my memories of this dream will fade and I will not be so burdened by these pangs of utter loneliness. I know that I will find strength to face this dream when it occurs since I have already lived through a small portion of it.

Yours,

Tired and Tried

What to do with limited time?

Today started just as any other. I arose from my slumber and fumbled through my morning routine. Fully dressed and with a small hint of the overbearing presence of time, I scurried to the bus stop. After a somewhat trying bus ride, I slipped into my meticulously organized workspace and started to remove a few items from the seemingly never ending list of mindless tasks assigned to me. Tasks that within a small scope of deceptive reality seem extremely important and seemingly necessary to keep the 3rd planet of the Sol system rotating on its axis, delicately balanced on a 23 degree angle and rotating around its host star. As I was triple checking an inventory of widgets and what-nots for the third time, that thin membrane of existence protectively placed between me and the immensity of time burst and I was overwhelmed with the urge to accomplish SOMETHING of significance. There are only a finite quantity of precious tick-tocks allotted to me and here I am wasting them in order to ensure that widget A is still associated with what-not 3 so that thing-gummy # will somehow feel at ease in this universe of infinite permutations?!

The real question became "Do I really need to accomplish something and who will determine whether something was actually accomplished?" After this brief burst of cosmic flux, I settled back and revelled in the comfort that I alone determine what the purposes of my life is. I believe that all men must toil in some fashion in order to survive from day to day. If a man does not struggle daily to complete that next task or limp through that next crisis, he has NOT accomplished anything. My very passage through time without disintegrating into an undulating block of nothingness is proof that something has been accomplished.

And yes, it turns out, thing-gummy does feel at ease and has become well acquainted with his cohorts in insanity Widget A and What-not 3.